How to Make Your Long Distance Relationship Work in College
- Summer Peoples
- Aug 30, 2017
- 4 min read
Dominic and I have been together since my senior year of high school. Although we'd heard about each other through other friends, we really never talked until my best friend's surprise party for her 18th birthday, where we really hit it off. Since then, we've been pretty much inseparable, so when it came time for me to head off to college (he's a year younger than I am)--we didn't know how it would go. The only thing we knew was that we wanted to stay together, even if it wasn't going to be easy.
As we approach our two year mark, I will be heading off to my sophomore year of college soon at the University of Wisconsin - Eau Claire, while Dominic attends his freshman year of college back home at Anoka-Ramsey in Minnesota. (So it looks like we've got another school year of long distance ahead of us!)
Recently, the two of us have been getting frequent messages from a lot of students our age who will be facing long distance relationships of their own this year. With the school year beginning again, I thought I'd write a blog post on the very same question we've been getting asked:
How'd you guys do it?
Though every couple's situation is unique (and it will only work if you both truly want it to...), here's a few tips on how Dom and I made our LDR in college work:
1. Daily Communication
College can get extremely busy at times, but if you want to make a long distance relationship work, both of you must prioritize talking with each other. Call, text, Facebook message, Snapchat--do what you gotta do! Even if it's for only a short period of time, it's important to find that time to communicate every day. And remember, some days you may have time for more conversation than others--that's okay!
2. Video Chatting
This was a personal favorite of mine and Dom's. Because we probably spent about 90% of our summer together, it was really hard for us to go from seeing each other almost every day to only seeing each other every 2-3 weeks. I'll be honest and say that FaceTime absolutely played a huge role in our long distance relationship. Seeing his face and hearing his voice often made me happy and gave us both a feeling that is really hard to explain, but was critical to our relationship. We found it helpful to try and FaceTime every few nights before bed to talk about our day, even if it was only for 5-10 minutes.
3. Trust
Trust is essential in any relationship, but even more so in long distance relationships, where it sometimes can be easy to feel jealous. With long distance relationships, it's just reality that you and your boyfriend/girlfriend will be spending more time with other people, but you shouldn't let that bother you. If you truly trust your partner, there shouldn't be any reason for you to worry anyway. On the other hand, if you are lacking trust in your relationship, you may need to reflect on why you feel that way, and talk to your significant other about it. Regardless, be open with each other and talk about what bothers you. It may be helpful to set some boundaries as well.
4. Get Creative
Texts and phone calls are always nice, but there's also a lot of other ways to show your partner how much you love and miss them. Before I left for college, I made Dominic "Open When" letters, and he loved them! Sending handwritten letters, care packages, and flowers to each other are a few thoughtful ways to express your love and go the extra mile. Dominic even once had Jimmy John's delivered to my dorm room when I was complaining about how hungry I was...haha!
5. Visit When Possible
Depending on how far away you and your S.O. are from each other, frequent visits might not always be possible. If you live closer to each other--seeing each other every 2-3 weeks might work well for your relationship. However, if you are in a lengthier LDR, every couple months might have to do. No matter what though, make it a habit to visit often! Plan ahead for when your next visit will be, and countdown the weeks/days until you'll see each other again. Talk about what you will do when you see each other--this will give you both something to look forward to!
6. Fill Each Other In
Fill each other in on what happened during your day. Talk about the good AND the bad moments you had--this way you'll feel more involved in each other's lives, though you may not be physically together.
7. Stay Busy & Don't Dwell on the Distance
I'm not going to lie, the distance really took a toll on Dominic and I the first few weeks I was gone. Both of us were constantly dwelling on the fact that we weren't together, and all it did was make us miserable and sad. After about six weeks, it started to get better when each of us realized that we needed to move on and get over it--to be fairly blunt! Life does not stop just because your relationship is long distance. You each can have your own lives and be together at the same time. Have fun, spend time with your friends, join a club, go explore outside, do things for yourself, and enjoy life! Don't look at distance as an enemy. Dominic and I have found that it has only made our relationship stronger!
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